A Vow Not To WOW

Scene 1: The courts

A young white male moves to a neighborhood with a basketball court down the street. One day he decides to throw on his Gonzaga shorts, New Balances and pumps up the old basketball with his initials in black Sharpie along one of the seams. It’s time to play ball.

The young white male arrives at the court as a game was ending. He only watched for a few minutes, but knows there is no way he is going to shine in this concrete arena. Someone got dunked on and people were throwing laser no look passes.

The young white male sees another player of his skin tone on the other team before the pick-up game begins. “I got him,” he shouts. The two white men lock eyes, and the looks on their faces say, “Thank god dude.” The game is over and they both touched the ball 5 times collectively, but neither got abused. They needed each other at the time. They knew the chances of torched would decrease greatly if they covered each other. The guy on the winning team better hope for another “Great White Helper.”

Scene 2: The NBA

White men are few and far between. Some come for far away lands, and some can shoot the basketball. Steve Nash was awarded back-to-back MVP’s not too long ago, and Dirk won before that. Unlikely? Of course, and maybe that is why they won, but have you ever seen Dirk dunk on Nash? Has David Lee ever just made Brad Miller look like a lost child after poking on his head? Have you ever seen a white man in the NBA dunking on another white man’s head? I’m talking about White on White Violence (a.k.a. WOW).

It’s as rare as the elusive blue whale, lurking through the Indian Ocean. It might be the biggest mammal on earth, but we never seem to catch an extended glimpse. White men stick out like a massive mammal in the NBA. Something to wonder at, leading you to question how he got there. But we never catch that glimpse. That glimpse of simply: WOW.

David Lee won the McDonald’s All-American dunk contest and puts up great numbers in the NBA. He made Tom Chambers look like the ‘worst’ white dunker. (Which is amazing if you ever played Double Dribble) We thought he might come in the league and crash on one Harpring’s head. He never did it. Possibly a tomahawk, send Kirk Hinrich into the cheap seats. Nope.

It’s just like the white guy at the courts. It’s just not cool man. White men are getting abused in the NBA and on basketballs courts around the world. No need to do it to each other. No WOW. Next time David Lee faces off against Kyle Korver look closely at their initial interaction. Korver will look Lee right in the eyes, and in their minds they will collectively say, “Thank God dude, you know the drill. No WOW.”

Speaking of white dudes in the NBA getting abused: