ZBear Iced

ZBear Iced is going to be the title of my recurring column on hockey, dedicated to Boston Bruins 6'9" captain Zdeno Chara.


I have always had a passing interest in hockey, but this season it has climbed out of that cable station you've never heard of (Versus) and into my heart.

I'm a Bruins fan and, admittedly, it's a good year to be a Bruins fan. We've been at the top of the Eastern Conference since early in the season and we may finally change our slogan from, "The team that traded perennial MVP candidate Joe Thornton for the Ben Affleck Movie Collection (minus Gigli)".

It may take some time for me to convince you that the hockey season is more than just a collection of games played in Canada leading up to the most awesome playoffs in pro sports. I will try my hardest though. And feel free to bash hockey in the comments while you watch basketball players get winded after 3 trips up and down the court. Seriously though, I wish I drank enough Gatorade (pronounced "Gee-torade") to acquire a natural leaping ability.




I was going to start this series off with a review of the Philadelphia Flyers vs. Calgary Flames game I attended last night. Unfortunately, the Flyers failed to attend the game and the Flames were up 4-0 before I even had a beer in my hand. To show my disapproval to the Flyers, I purchased a Molsen. The Flames were the biggest movers at the Wednesday trade deadline, and their two big pickups - Olli Jokinen (pronounced "Gee-kinen") and Jordan Leopold (pronounced "Dammit, even that guy scored?") combined for three first period goals. The final score of 5-1 was an accurate reflection of the game. The Flyers couldn't get out of their defensive zone and kept trying to make spectacular passes when simplicity is more their style going forward. I'll be using this column to highlight certain aspects of hockey that make it interesting, but right now you'll just have to believe me when I say that that last paragraph was not a madlib.

In other hockey news, the Bruins dropped 2-1 to the lowly Phoenix Coyotes. DON'T LOSE TO HOCKEY TEAMS IN PHOENIX. Italian soccer teams don't come to the U.S. and crap the bed against MLS teams! Come on, Bruins. Have some self-respect. Half the Coyote fans are only at the game because seeing ice there is more exciting than seeing Bigfoot or Paris Hilton (or are they one and the same...)

I leave you with the best goal of the hockey season so far. Courtesy of Alex Ovechkin (LeBron James sleeps in Ovechkin pajamas. It's on his Facebook. No, YOU check!) You can now resume your regularly scheduled traveling exhibition NBA game.