(Drinking milk makes you act more douchey?)
You've won the Indianapolis 500 three times. I don't consider NASCAR to be a reasonable 'Sport' therefore there is no way I would ever consider the ugly step-child of NASCAR to be a sport either. I don't want anything having to do with Indy Car Racing ever seeing the light of day on my ESPN screen. I don't care if you win every race, every day, every year, for 20 years in a row, that nonsense doesn't need to be compared to and analyzed along side competition that actually involves human strength and effort. Please!
(Smug prick pictured above)
You won Dancing With The Stars. In my mind winning Dancing With The Stars is about as great an honor as winning the attendance award at your middle school graduation. I don't even think you should've qualified for the show because you were fullfilling the "star" part of your couple, yet no one watching that show on a routine basis had any idea who you were. Most of the middle age moms who tune in could at least ask their husbands who Emmitt Smith or Evander Holyfield were... but even the husbands were dumbfounded on this one, so you should have been disqualified right there.
(this picture really makes no sense)
You even beat a tax-evasion charge that should've forced you into the slammer for a long long time. Since I don't have all the details I'll refer to the records on this...
"On October 2, 2008, Castroneves was charged with conspiracy and six counts of tax evasion by a grand jury for purportedly failing to report to the IRS about $5.5 million in income between 1999 and 2004, according to court documents. Each count carries a maximum five-year prison sentence. His business manager and sister Kati, and his lawyer Alan Miller are charged with assisting Castroneves in the supposed scheme. All three defendants surrendered to authorities in Florida on Friday, October 3, 2008. Castroneves pled not guilty to these charges on October 3, and was ordered released on $10 million bail. Castroneves was replaced by Will Power during the duration of his tax evasion court case. The IRS claimed that Castroneves owes $2.3 million in taxes. A guilty verdict would have likely ended Castroneves' racing career." Too BAD!
"On October 2, 2008, Castroneves was charged with conspiracy and six counts of tax evasion by a grand jury for purportedly failing to report to the IRS about $5.5 million in income between 1999 and 2004, according to court documents. Each count carries a maximum five-year prison sentence. His business manager and sister Kati, and his lawyer Alan Miller are charged with assisting Castroneves in the supposed scheme. All three defendants surrendered to authorities in Florida on Friday, October 3, 2008. Castroneves pled not guilty to these charges on October 3, and was ordered released on $10 million bail. Castroneves was replaced by Will Power during the duration of his tax evasion court case. The IRS claimed that Castroneves owes $2.3 million in taxes. A guilty verdict would have likely ended Castroneves' racing career." Too BAD!
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