Dear Doc Brown,

You were great in those confusing movies about traveling through time and hoverboards. Your hair is worth a laugh and who doesn’t like a manic lab coat wearing town crazy? I need your help Dr. Brown, you see I think we can slightly fix the economy. If we go back in time to early 2009 (that’s not asking for much) we could tell President Obama that Samuel Dalembert was stealing money from hard working American people.

(paging Doc Dalembert)

He even got kicked off the Canadian hoops team for the 2008 (sickest) Olympic Games. Canada didn’t event want him.

Samuel seems like a nice guy and is involved in philanthropy, but he is simply ‘out to lunch.’ A couple years back people were willing to trade for this ‘dripping with potential’ shot-blocker. He can get up and down the court with ease for a big man, but has pitchforks attached to his wrists. He has never figured out how to really play the game.

Look into his eyes when he plays Doc. He seems to be thinking about Anime and looks incredibly confused even if a call goes his way. He just isn’t there. A Patrick Bateman from Haiti. Going through the motions as the quarters pass. He just wants the game to end. All he can think about is being at home, eating Ellio’s Pizza and playing Xbox. A man-child who nicknamed HIMSELF ‘Bouncing Sam.’ I don’t need to say anymore Doc. Let’s do this…we might be able to save some jobs!

Sincerely,

Marty McHate